In Negotiations, Speak Up
Is it better to stay quiet, swallow the wrong or express yourself and take a stand? While there may not be one universal answer for all situations, in general most negotiators will benefit if they clearly and specifically expressed themselves. Many negotiators will remain silently frustrated because they want to avoid conflict, worrying too much about negative repercussions. In procurement organizations, we have seen members feeling this way with a Sole Supplier. Many times, not having conducted a thorough “power” analysis, the buyers perceive themselves to be powerless when dealing with a “Sole Supplier”.
Those choosing to avoid conflict need to recognize that avoiding such conflict can deteriorate relationships as much as expressing your concerns. When buyers feel wronged but do not communicate their feelings, they encourage the embedded or sole supplier to continue the same behavior. The suppressed resentment can surface in the form of caustic comments or avoiding the necessary dialog or some other undesirable behavior, damaging the relationships.
A telecommunication company may decide to do technical support work themselves than confronting embedded software supplier about its continued failure to do support work in a timely fashion. If the telecommunication company team’s resentment causes it to view the supplier negatively, in the months and years to follow, the team will create a negative image and damaged relationship it had meant to avoid!
The struggle in the mind of the buyer becomes, “shall I share information (resentment) with the supplier or not?” This question needs to be answered without emotions and fear of repercussions. Focus instead on what you are trying to achieve. Will sharing of such information help you move towards your goals, the supplier understand your issues and strengthen your relationship with the supplier? If your primary goal is to get the work done and the supplier’s tardiness affects your company’s operational efficiency, Information Sharing is warranted.
If your first inclination is to avoid confrontation, consider the following questions:
- Do you really believe that not sharing information is the best solution or you are just afraid?
Most are inclined to choose status quo over the fear and uncertainty of what might happen if information is disclosed and discussed. Do not assume that your relationship will be damaged if you choose to disclose information (your resentment for tardiness of technical support). When handled properly, the risk is minimal.
- Is your reluctance to share the information (resentment and cause of it) rooted in a feeling of helplessness (sole supplier)?
In a negotiation, just “giving-up”, sends a wrong signal. When negotiators conclude that a problem is insolvable or that a sole supplier is beyond their influence, negotiators give themselves an excuse for inaction and send a wrong signal to the supplier. Negotiators usually do have the power to face the supplier(s) over their behavior to take an undue advantage even when they are dealing with a sole supplier well-connected at higher levels in the buyer’s organization.
- Do you have lasting and lingering concerns?
If some time has passed since the last negotiation and you are still feeling the resentment over the situation, it probably is better to face the situation than to let your ill will simmer. This is particularly important if you either deal with or expect to deal with the other party for the foreseeable future. Your tone and behavior are likely to show up even if you try to look the other way.
In our next blog, we will discuss steps that can increase the odds that your conflicts will lead to productive dialog than circular debates.
Satish Mehta is a partner in Swift LLC, www.swiftnegotia.com, executive coaching and skills building firm. He has helped several start-ups and turnarounds, and has negotiated for many medium to large corporations.
