In Negotiations, Speak Up. Part II
In Part I, we presented the rationale to speak up in a negotiation. We will now discuss steps that can increase the odds that your conflicts will lead to productive dialog than circular debates.
- Go in with a Positive attitude
In his executive negotiation workshops, Mike Milich, executive coach at SwiftNegotia, talks about cooperative behavior vs. competitive behavior. Cooperative behavior and Positive attitude create an environment of trust where both parties begin sharing their real needs, motives and priorities. So, going into a negotiation, assume the best. When we assume nefarious intentions behind other party’s actions, our confrontations are likely to become emotional. Lock up your ego in a closet and tell yourself that the other party probably made an honest mistake, or the other party really needs help, and then be genuinely helpful.
- Think similarities between you and the other party – how the other party is like you
This will present you as more understanding, reducing the tension and increasing the trust. Such an environment will cut the odds that your conflict will be taken as an attack. For example, if one of the parties did not reveal that without your order, their company would have gone out of business, and you found this out after the deal was made, think what you would have done if you were in other party’s shoes.
- Collect and understand information especially the facts
Analyze the power balance. Construct questions to ask for information that will fill in the gaps. This will help you understand the motives and priorities of the other party. You may discover the real reasons why the other party is acting the way it is acting. Find out what you can before the negotiation begins and leads to a confrontation.
- Gain other party’s support to raise the difficult issue
Ask for other party’s “permission” to raise a difficult issue and then present it factually and unemotionally. Avoid making other party defensive. This will improve the chances for a positive dialog and winning outcome. For example, “we need your help in addressing the issue of trust if we are to be paid commission on net profit and not the top line which is easily validated.”
- Invite a dialog or response
In SwiftNegotia workshop, Mike Milich shares examples of “good” questions. Ask, “what is the basis for your proposal?” after you have received a proposal to cut price. Ask,”How do you feel about the proposal I have just made?” after you have presented your proposal. This will avoid circular debate and result into a constructive negotiating discussion.
Satish Mehta is a partner in Swift LLC, www.swiftnegotia.com, executive coaching and skills building firm. He has helped several start-ups and turnarounds, and has negotiated for many medium to large global corporations.
