Often companies revise feedback and mentoring system because it is:

  •     time-consuming
  •     of less-than-expected value
  •     not fair
  •     creating anti-collaborative behavior
  •     making people anxious, and
  •     driving morale low.

But we still need to give feedback to distribute raises and mentor to strengthen employees’ abilities.

The feedback must be specific. You are “not aggressive.” What does that mean? “Not aggressive” could mean different things. It is essential to ensure that the receiver understands the input. What is it that the mentee needs to improve? How?

Then, an employee may understand the feedback but not accept it. He may think it is irrelevant or inaccurate and that the status quo is comfortable. And therefore, there is no follow-up action.

Training managers and mentors to get better at giving feedback is essential. But often, the problem may be with feedback receivers or mentees. We may need to be training feedback receivers. No matter how skilled the feedback giver is, something will only get through if the receiver is adept at receiving the feedback.

Here are three tips that can help the feedback receivers:

First, get skilled not only in receiving feedback but also in soliciting it.  
When you solicit feedback, you say that you are open and confident, care about the views of others, and are eager to improve. People who request feedback, particularly things they can work on and improve, gain higher performance evaluations.

Second, do not construct requests for feedback to help you only.
“I want feedback because I want to be a director in two years” is not good. Construct it around helping the organization. “I want feedback because it will help me run the negotiation skills workshop more effectively.”

Third, ask mentors about their life stories.
Ask your mentor how she overcame a setback and managed a challenging transition. Nothing is more effective than a person’s real story. Feedback and mentoring can be about something other than you for it to be helpful.

I would love to hear about your experiences! Please share your negotiation stories here.