Negotiating with difficult people, Part VII
Workplace or life, in general, is full of negotiating opportunities – be it with your supervisor, coworker, customer, spouse, or peddler in Egyptian bazaar! Sometimes you may end up dealing with some problematic people. Here are the five steps for coping with a combative opponent.
1. Take an adjournment: Go out for some fresh air.
When someone is problematic, don’t slide into a squabble, or just give in. Instead, take a break. Move away from the contentious setting. Think objectively and construct a well thought out response. It may be a new or repackaged proposal. Anytime the other party provokes you beyond a specific limit, adjourn.
2. Recognize the opponent’s perspective
One of the most effective steps to take—and one of the most difficult—is to try to understand the other person’s point of view. Ask questions, be curious. If you want the other party to acknowledge and appreciate your perspective, recognize theirs first.
3. Change the game: Don’t reject—repackage.
You don’t have to get into a circular debate. Nor do you have to go along with the other party’s game. Instead of getting into a squabble and rigid positions, repackage your proposal to give them exactly what they want.
4. Make it easy to say yes.
Understand what is personally driving the opponent. How is his performance measured within his organization? Dig into your Intends and WishList to help your opponent save face and feel that he’s getting his way, in most matters.
5. Make it hard to say no.
You will always begin with persuasion. But, if you are just repeating yourself, it is not working. Move on to other options for resolving conflict. Be prepared with Intends—which are objective ranges—WishList, and Concessions. Share information to structure your opponent’s expectations. Create, know, and communicate your power professionally. Be ready to answer “unwanted” questions when asked. That will build your confidence and exhibit trustworthiness.
In “Negotiating with difficult people, Part VIII,” I will present additional strategies and tactics for negotiating successfully with difficult people.
For developing an ability to negotiate skillfully, check out “The World Is a Bazaar – Life Is a Negotiation.” 